Oh Saturday, how I've missed you...

I love the weekends. I love being home with the family and not having to do anything but home and family stuff. But what I love the most about the weekends are Saturdays. I don't do anything on Saturdays unless I have to. I love to just be able to sit around in my fatty pants, cuddle with my kids and relax. Today, I actually had to get up and clean the house and backyard a bit because we had a girlscout thing for about a half hour this morning around 10. But after that, we rented a movie, got into comfys and just laid down on the couch for a couple hours. Then when Rylen went off to her swimming playdate with her bestie, Jax and I went to the Target, which is something that I am not able to do during the day during the week because of daycare. He picked out a new car that makes noises and lights up when he pushes the buttons. He is in love. I couldn't get him out of the toy aisle for a good 15 minutes. But I was okay with that, because I don't usually get to enjoy a mom/son store trip, without screaming from one of us, very often. Then we came home and are now sitting on the couch again, watching some more movies and just enjoying the time together. It is rare, that it is this quiet in here. He gets me all to himself for a little while until sissy comes home. Then it will go back to them fighting over my attention, which I still, to this day, can't get enough of. :)

Love, love, LOVE Saturdays.

What it means to be a parent

Warning: Long rant ahead.......


I got pregnant with my daughter when I was 19 years old. I was one of the many girls out there that thought it was okay to be rebellious. I will admit, I thought he was pretty cool. He was 9 years older than me and he could by beer, but I knew I wouldn't ever end up with him forever, because he was a floater and let's face it, a loser. He floated through life, living from one couch to another. Mooching off of anyone who would let him. Never once having his own place to call home. But, that didn't stop me from having a little fun for awhile, though. And we did have fun. Until I found out I was pregnant. He showed me how much of a loser he really was when he told me to get rid of it and then left me, alone and pregnant. I was so scared of what was next. I was going to be a mom. Or was I? Was I going to "end" it like he wanted me to? Was I going to go through with the pregnancy and put it up for adoption for a better family to raise it? Or was I going to grow up, take responsibility for my actions and be the mother to a beautiful baby? I chose the latter. And every day, I thank God that I did. No matter how many times a day my daughter frustrates me and tests my patience, I love her with all of my heart and I KNOW, I would not change things for anything in the world. And with that being said, I just can't fathom how parents can just abandon their children. I don't know how you can sleep at night, knowing that your child is somewhere and you don't know a thing about her. Being a mom or a dad means a lot more than just making a child. It means being there when they are sick or hurt or sad or happy or just plain naughty. It means putting things on hold if your children need you to. It means tucking your children in at night or asking them how their day at school was. It means watching them take their first steps or riding their bikes for the first time or putting on a band aid when they fall off the swing set. Just because you were half of the creation of that beautiful child, doesn't give you right to be called Dad. It doesn't earn you rights to be loved by that child. A child knows who their parents are, whether they are biological or adoptive. They choose what they call you. They choose if they love you or if they consider you a loser, like you really are. If I was the one who didn't have custody or just had visitation, then I would be calling all the time to talk to me baby. I would be looking for every opportunity to know everything about my child and to be with them as often as I could.

My daughter turned 9 in May. Her bio dad didn't even call to wish her a happy birthday. She waited, but then realized that he forgot. The thing is, she is so used to him not being around, she didn't really care. But it never used to be like that. From the time that she was a baby, he wanted to be a part of her life. Or so he said. But honestly, I think it was only because he had to pay child support and he figured that if he was going to pay, then he should have the right to see her. So I thought it would be good for her to know her father. For years, I was the one calling him and trying to get him to be a part of her life. I could count on 2 hands how many times he has called saying he wants to see her. I was always the one making the effort. There was this one time, I believe she was 4, he had asked for her for the weekend. He wanted to take Rylen and his other daughter (who is a little younger than Rylen) to Sesame Street Live. He talked to her about it for weeks when I would call. She was soooo excited. So I get her ready, packed up, and I drive her over there. We get to his place and he answers the door. Before he even invites us in, he says that he will have to cancel the weekend with Rylen because he only got 3 tickets, one for him, one for his girlfriend and one for his other daughter. He said he would definately bring her back a souvenir. I have NEVER seen just a sad and disappointed little girl before. She bawled and bawled and bawled the entire car ride home. I had to try to explain to her that it wasn't that daddy didn't love her, it was just that he only had enough money to buy 3 tickets instead of 4. When in reality, he completely forgot about her and instead of leaving girlfriend at home and taking both of his kids, he chose to be the asshole that brings a 4 year old little girl to tears. I don't think that he has ever loved her. I think he only wants her to call him dad because of his pride. What man wants people to know that his own flesh and blood, doesn't consider him dad. He has gone months and months without seeing her or talking to her. He actually went a year and a half once without contacting her. I just wish that I could send him the papers to have him sign over his rights. That way he wouldn't be a part of her life and my husband, whom she knows as daddy, can adopt her. I just wish that he wouldn't have turned out to be such a loser so my daughter doesn't have to feel like it's her fault that her other father only wants to know her sister but not her. What kind of man can even call himself a man when he treats a child like that. He's missing out though. He's missing out knowing such a bright, sweet, beautiful little girl who is going to grow up so strong and brave. She is going to grow up knowing not to fall for any guys that even resembles her bio dad.

At least he did teach her one lesson in life, if they look like losers in the beginning, then they will be losers until the end.

This blog stuff

I am new to this blogging stuff. It's probably pretty apparent with the few posts that I have written. I guess I have a question for anyone out there who knows how these blogs work and who is actually reading my blog, if there really is anyone reading it :). How do you see who is reading your blog? I see that I have page views, but I never see who is reading it. I was just curious.

Anyway, if you are reading my blog, please feel free to comment on my posts so I know there are actually people out there reading. :) Even if it is a criticizing comment, post it. I welcome any comments. Just try not to be mean. Criticizing is one thing, meanness is another. I don't really have anything else right now, so have a great day everyone.

Strawberry poptarts

I try to make homemade versions of the snack favorites as much as I can. One of the favorites of the kids is poptarts. When I started making them from scratch, they started asking for them at least once a week. So I made them again today for snack. I thought I would share my recipe. For the crust, I have tried several different pie crust recipes and came up with my own that is super easy and always comes out tasting great. Here ya go.

Homemade strawberry poptarts

2 1/2 cups flour ( I have used half whole wheat flour and half white flour in the past, but it makes the dough a little harder to work with. But it tastes just as great)
2 sticks (1 cup) cold butter, cut into chunks. I usually just cut them into tbsp size pieces
1 tsp sugar
1/2 tsp salt
1/3 cup ice cold water

In a food processor (I use my ninja) combine flour, sugar and salt until combined.  Add cold butter and pulse until butter and dry ingredients almost resemble thick sand. Slowly add water a tbsp at a time until it forms a dough. You don't want it too wet but also not too dry.

 

Pour it out into a bowl and incorporate any flour that didn't get mixed in.

Put it onto a piece of saran wrap and cover. Use your hands to knead it until it forms a ball. It takes me a couple minutes.

Divide into two balls. Wrap and saran wrap and place in freezer for a half hour.

Roll out on a flour surface as thin as you can but don't make it paper thin. Try to roll it into a rectangle shape. Repeat with the second ball.  Cut edges off to form a rectangle. Cut each rectangle into 4 -6 equal rectangles depending on how big of poptarts you want. You will be folding the rectangles over each other so it will be both the top and bottom of the poptart.

Preheat the oven to 350°.

Make the filling. Mix together a tbsp of cornstarch and a tbsp of water until blended.  Mix jnto a 1/2 cup strawberry jam. Place a tbsp of filling onto the right half of the rectangle leaving about 1/3" around the edges.

Fold over the other half and use a fork all the way around to seal the edges.

Prick the top a couple times to allow the steam to release while cooking. Place on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 25 min or until light golden brown. 

Place on wire rack to cool down.

 

Make topping. Mix 1 cup of powdered sugar with 1/4 tsp of vanilla and 2-3 tbsp milk. I also adds few drops of food coloring for fun. The kids love the colored icing.

Once the poptarts are cooled down, ice them with the icing and sprinkle with sprinkles.

Enjoy.

Pictures

We got the photos back from our family photo shoot. The whole point of us getting these were to have a nice family portrait with our family and my brother and his fiance to give to my mom for her birthday. But as I am looking through them, there are only a couple to choose from that my daughter is smiling in. She was being such a turd that day. At least she was cooperative with the photos with her brother. Here they are. I will also include some of the photos that had her snooty look.

                                                                 Fun at the playground

                                                          Jackson on the bouncy frog

                                                                Our little family

                                                                          My babies

                                                                   Peek-A-Boo

                                                                  Me and my love, Russ

                                                                   My brother and his fiance

                                                                         :)

                                                                   Pretty girl

                 This was supposed to be a nice mom and daughter shot, but notice her annoyed look?

                                                            Group shot (snotty look)

                                                      Another snotty look

                                                             Group Shot

 

Another one of my brother Damion and his fiance Anne

                                                                Handsome Boy

Zucchini Pancakes

I love potato pancakes. Absolutely love them. There is something about the creamyiness of the pancake topped with some applesauce and sour cream. Mmmmmmm.... But they are all starch and cream. So they are definately an occasional treat, especially since I am trying to shed some pounds. I was cleaning out the freezer and found some shredded zucchini from last summer. So I decided to make a pancake out of zucchini instead and try to make it a little healthier. I forgot to take a picture of it. :( I will get into the groove of it sooner or later, hopefully sooner. I will take a picture next time I make them, and there will definately be a next time because they were delicious. My husband loved them, the kids loved them, I loved them. I just wish I would have made more than I had. Instead of doing applesauce and sour cream, like we do for potato pancakes, I decided to try to make a dip out of greek yogurt. I added some lemon juice, herbs and salt and pepper and that was delish as well. Mmmmmm.. Here is what I did to make them.


Zucchini Pancakes (Makes 5)

5 cups shredded zucchini, (3 cups after the water has been squeezed out)
1/4 tsp salt
1/3 cup parmesan cheese
2 eggs
2 tblsp whole wheat flour
1/2 tsp italian seasoning
1/4 tsp black pepper

I started out with 3 cups of shredded zucchini thawed out, since I only had frozen zucchini. After I thawed it out, I sprinkled 1/4 tsp salt on it and let it sit for about a half hour. Then I placed the zucchini shreds in a doubled up viva paper towel and rung it out until no more water was coming out of the zucchini. I decided that I needed to add about 2 more cups of shredded zucchini because without the water in it, it shrunk to about 1 1/2 - 2 cups. So I repeated that process with the other zucchini except I only added a dash or two of salt. After all of it was rung out, I added the remaining ingredients and mixed to combine. I heated up a large skillet over medium high heat. Once that was heated, I added 2 tbsp of each, butter, olive oil and veg oil. Once the butter was melted, I turned the heat down to medium heat. I shaped about 1/3 cup of the mixture into a flat disk (about 1/2 inch thick) and put it in the skillet. I repeated until no more mixture. It made about 5 pancakes. It probably would have made more if I made them flatter, which I will probably do in the future. I fried them on each side until they were a nice dark golden color (i prefer them a little darker than a normal golden brown, only because I like a crispy crust.).
I made a yummy sauce to go with it. I mixed a small container of greek plain yogurt with about a tbsp of lemon juice, 1 tsp italian seasoning, 1/4 tsp dill and salt and pepper until it tasted yummy.

Hope you enjoy them as much as I did.

My Fam

These are my loveys. Rylen and Jackson. It amazes me everyday how two kids can love each other so much. They definately bicker like siblings, even though Jax is only a toddler, but at the end of the day, they love each other more than life itself. It makes me so happy to experience that kind of love.


We took family portraits on Saturday, so as soon as I have those back, I will post them so you can see our little happy family.

One thing I love about my husband, is that I can do something just ordinary and he makes me feel like I did something amazing. Last night, after I made dinner, he said to me "How did you come up with that. That was absolutely wonderful." I have to giggle at him, because all I made was pork chops on the grill with some apple bbq sauce, some butter and herb rice pilaf and some asparagus, simply grilled with olive oil, salt and pepper. Oh and of course some homemade strawberry muffins with homemade strawberry butter. mmmm.... recipe to come later. Anyway, he was just so amazed at what I came up with. I love it, because he appreciates me, and my cooking and what I do for our family. I definately feel loved. One of these days, he will figure out how to put a meal together and I will have a night off from cooking. One of these days......which will probably be a long time from now. At least I love to cook. 

So I have decided that I need two drop about 30 lbs by the end of this year. That's definately a stretch for me, because let's face it, I'm lazy and I don't have the motivation to go to the gym that we pay for every month. I  wish I did, though. I want to go work out. I want to be healthy and not worry about if my shirt is showing too many rolls, but after all my "kids" go home for the night, I get dinner ready for my own family and by the time that's all said and done with, I am exhausted and all I want to do is sit down, watch a show or a movie with my hubby and relax. Then I think, okay, I will get up early and go before daycare starts. Yea right! When my alarm goes off at 5:30, I turn it off and reset it for 6:30 and go back to sleep. I will get to the gym. I will. Hopefully before our weight loss boot camp starts in August. Oh man, is that going to kick my butt or what!! I think I will start slowly and start eating right for a couple weeks, then slowly get my butt to the gym. Start off with a half hour there and then work up from there. It will happen. I know it will.

That's all I got for now. Until next time.....

The Beginning

Everyone is blogging. I have wanted to blog for awhile now and I have decided that it is about time that I do so. Soooo here it goes.

Hello. My name is Kellan. I am a mother of two beautiful children. My daughter Rylen, who turned 9 in May, is a beautiful, smart, stubborn, thoughtful, and limit testing little girl. My son Jackson, who will be 2 in October, is a handsome, ornery, brave, sweet little boy. My kids are my life. I am married to a wonderful guy named Russ. We will be married for 5 years this October. I couldn't have found a better guy for me. He definately puts up with my temper tantrums and attitude. Yes, as a grown woman, I have found that I get more temper tantrums and more attitude the older I get. Crazy, I know. I thought that you grew out of that eventually. But, he is definately one of the most supportive and loving men I know.

I have my own in home daycare. I have been doing it for a little over a year now, and I love it. I get to be home with my son all day and I get to be an influence in other children's lives. I consider all of my daycare kids to be my kids in one way or the other.

My purpose for starting this blog is to get my thoughts out there. I need some sort of outlet and what's better than putting it out there for everyone to see. :) I love to cook, so a lot of my posts will be about cooking and recipes, but I will also be posting about my family, my daycare family, my journey to weight loss and just about everything in between.